Hot Topic Cosplay Shirt: So Many Hate Boners!

Firstly I will admit that when I saw this shirt, I laughed. Personally I hardly, if ever, wear t-shirts so it's not something I would ever even buy. But I laughed- and most of that laughter was over the sheer amount of hate and rage that SO many people were directing at Hot Topic and this particular shirt.

Let's take a look at the words that have so many people in a tizzy:

"Do it right or not at all."

Most of the comments I have read about this have been "not all of us have the money", "not everyone is so skinny", "not everyone is pretty", etc etc and the like. SO MANY people are equating doing it right with being rich, pretty, skinny, attractive, or essentially the perfect anime girl.

But who is defining "right" here? Who says "right" means you have to be a Jessica Nigri clone? What if "right" simply means you have fun. Because what exactly would be the point of cosplaying if you weren't having fun? Personally I really believe that's what cospaly is about- having fun and showing your love for the material!


However I will not forget the aspect that this probably only made it onto the Hot Topic radar because of the "Heros" of Cosplay show recently aired by SyFy... but this is a whole other can of worms I don't even have enough words to talk about >_o

So listen up. It's a shirt- it's an attempt at product placement from what Hot Topic sees as a passing fad. Remeber, this is the same place that carried Sailor Moon goods 10+ years ago, has had Charlie the Unicorn goods, Doctor Who, Adventure Time, Justin Beiber, and anything "PunkXRawk" you could think of. It's a trend store. They're going to try to bandwagon and sell things they see are a trend. Such trends that their Halloween costumes this year were labeled "cosplay" and were terribly overpriced garbage! (I did a review of two such costumes.)


(I'd like to note that the backlash WAS so negative that Hot Topic has removed the shirt from their online stores. Checking in with the local mall shops it appears that it never made it to physical stores.)


Cosplay: HAVE FUN

Small Update, Small Steps.

I don't often toot my own horn about things; even on here. But I wanted to at least say one thing I'm proud of- I've lost weight! :D

This might not seem like a big deal and it hasn't been much (just 7 lbs) but I'm at that annoying plateau point where things get extra hard. I mostly cut out a lot of sweets from my diet and have been lots more salad and yogurt :) I've also been riding my bike to and from work which, if I remember right, is just over 2 miles. It's amazing the small things you can do with such big results! I'm going to try to remind myself to actually lift weights too so I can build up actual muscles... which I know will technically make me gain weight but it's all in how I look and feel, right? ^^;;

I've only got about 3 more to go until I hit the mid-low weight range for my height and beyond that I think I'll look too emaciated or sick. I've been 110 before and I got a lot of comments from people that I looked sick. But that was mostly from walking 5 miles a day to get to/from school so it's not like I was starving myself- in fact I was eating a lot more back then.

Regardless I'm happy! It's showing and now I don't feel like I have a pooch on my tummy so much. I might actually let myself do some tummy showing cosplays soon... maybe. I dunno. Not sure if my confidence is up to that yet >_>;;

Lolita dresses fit better too! Yaaayy~~!

Video again~

Going to force myself to vlog more! As well as blog of course :)

Why not both?! :D

KumoriCon 2013

It has been approximately a week since KumoriCon has finished up and, honestly, I want to say it sucked. I know that cons are only as good as you make them and it takes effort to get together with people to hang out. But something about KumoriCon has been so very stagnant for a few years now; it honestly has felt like the same exact con as years passed. Despite attendance growing for the con what new guests have they brought? Do they ever have a big headliner or someone that will draw people in? ... that, ya' know, hasn't gone for years on end as it is?

That's not to say these frequent guests are bad per-say, but the content starts to get stale. KumoriCon is -heavily- dependent on attendees running panels and still is a con where the dance and cosplay contest are the biggest events (other than late night 18+ panels.)

Mind you I've been going to this con since it first started and only missed one year for being in the hospital.

~~~

All that aside my experiences at con are far from stellar when it comes to staff. It took less than five minutes after leaving my hotel room on the first day for some staff member to yell at me. I was chatting with someone while waiting for the elevator and wasn't much paying attention to things going on so we got on the elevator. Well, if anyone has gone to Kumoricon you'd know that the staff are horrid monster Nazis about NOT riding the elevator up if you mean to go down. I guess I got on an up elevator and a staff member (whom I've had previous issues with through the years and even has argued/bitched at me on Twitter) decided that yelling at me was the most effective way of getting the point across that I did something so horrible it's to be equated to clubbing a baby seal.

Mind you, the person I was chatting with and myself were the only people in the elevator... and crazy staff member and one quiet staff member were the only people that got on the elevator. We were able to ride the thing to the lobby without stopping at any other floor as well.
*sigh*

Whatever- time to con it up. I mostly spent the day trying to find friends and finding the girl who was holding my badge. This year I helped out the host cosplay group by being in their halftime skit show. I was to play a pretty small part as Fionna from Adventure Time! The costume was a loaner and everything ^^;; so all I had to do was show up and do my bit. (which went off splendid if I do say so myself...)

After some trolling about I was able to get my badge and... never have to show it to anyone ever because KumoriCon greatly lacks badge enforcers. No wonder so many people ghost at this con! Yeesh.

I didn't get into cosplay until late at night- in which I ended up wearing Erio! It was a lot of fun to derp around in :) but pretty much no one knew who I was haha. I expect these kinds of things though as I tend to cosplay really random and weird things.. ya' know... characters I like as opposed to popular ones ;P
I tried meeting up with a cosplay friend I met through Twitter but he actually didn't recognize me in cosplay *laugh* It was kind of a silly thing but we later connected anyway so no worries there! :D


Later that night I met up with everyone to rehears the skit. I think I hung around for nearly 6 hours @_@ good lord... I really didn't need to and totally missed some panels my friends were running. In the end I had all of 3 or so lines towards the END of the skit. So I really didn't need to do/remember much. It later did help that I stuck around though as I would hand props off to the stage ninjas as they needed them~ I wanted to help in any way I could since Kayla got me a badge because of it, ya' know?

Next day I hung out with Vince a bunch. We talked about cosplay happenings and things going on in our lives. I'm really happy we've actually been able to become friends lately :D good to find people with similar mindsets that go to con- they keep me sane. I got into Fionna pretty much straight out and ran from my room, to stage, to the room a few times to get things that were either forgotten or were needed to fix some prop problems. I would comment on Kumo's skit show but seeing as how I was not in the greenn room and just hanging around backstage I didn't get to see much. I mean, we could see the screens (well.. the back of them) but the audio was too difficult to hear since the speakers were outwards facing. It's cool though ^_^

OMG there were SO MANY CUTE KIDS IN COSPLAY THIS YEAR. Like, little little kids! Under 10! They were so adorable that I just wanted to hug them all! *squee*

Skit went off pretty much without a hitch :) There were some problems of  Ice King's cookie tray disapperaing somewhere but it was found in time. Kay;a only had 1 backpack so while we were switching we pretty much had to quick pass it back stage- I was worried about this initially but we were so pro at it LOL. I did struggle or anything and had it on at least 7 seconds before I had to go on stage XD of course it's been so so so long since I've been on stage that I was all shakey and nervous... but things were fine :) the skit was fun and I'm glad I didn't fuck up my tiny part ^^;;
Actually TomTheFanboy was awesome and recorded the whole deal!! I'll inbed it at the end of the post or just follow THIS LINK to watch- it's actually pretty long (nearly 20mins!) but that's because it needed to give the judges time to choose winners for the cosplay contests :)

Backstage isn't exciting

Afterwards I only hung out for a short while but went back up to my room to pass out... I'm not sure why I was so tired but it was nap time since nothing was really going on.


I woke up randomly and had a message from Eric that he'd stop by on his way south from PAX! I was super excited! :D I was trying to convince him since KumoriCon was right off the I-5 freeway and I wouldn't be seeing him for a week or so when we meet up in Vegas. He asked me to grab him some energy drinks so I ran to the convenience store real quick and grabbed some snacks as well :) of course he tells me his ETA was 20min but it was more around 30 or 40 *laugh* At this point I was chilling in my lobby chatting with friends when he showed up~ which he got a crazy hug from me for. I might have beena  bit too excited haha. I met his brother as well (who is super adorable!) A local friend who I suspected liked me was acting a bit jealous... so I was an asshole and danced around him a bit just saying "you jelly? you jelly? you jelly?"... to which he admitted to. Don't get me wrong, I feel somewhat like a jerk... but nothing is going to happen.
I showed them around the con a bit. The dance was going on and despite them wanting to go in I couldn't get in touch with friends to let me use their badges ;/ so we hung out in the main area outside of it since people were still dancing there and you could still hear the music. Ironically Gangnam Style was playing LOL and tons of people were dancing! Eric's brother recorded some of it and a cute little Jack Frost kid was dancing too!! I guess his brother really enjoyed his first impression of KumoriCon and said it seemed more fun despite having attended PAX that weekend. I explained to Eric that PAX is more professional and industry while Kumoricon is a lot more of a "hangout and party" convention. It's pretty low key but because of that can be a lot less stressful and much more chill (or incredibly boring lol.)

In they end they only stuck around for about an hour. We walked around the park a bit and Eric played some Final Fantasy songs on one of the pianos they had places randomly throughout the park :) We also played on the swing set a bit too. I hadn't done so in ages and was still twirling around like I used to! I also scared Eric by doing that thing where when you get to the high point you pull up real quick and drop down to shake the other swing haha. At this point I had also found a phone lying on the ground... it started to ring so I answered it and the person was actually the owner looking for it. So I told her where I was and that I'd wait there with her phone :)
Afterwards I walked them back to their rental car and said bye... Eric and I got into a little bickering fight over something small and silly and it resulted in him apologizing up and down to me since he knew I was upset... I find it very difficult to stay upset with him though so I said everything was fine as I knew I'd get over things eventually (I knew I was being silly being so upset anyway.) So I said my goodbyes and sent them on their way.

To which Vince and I met up and decided to be emo kids by buying junky food from the convenience store and lamenting about our feelings while sitting in the park eating the garbage food LOL. Danny (PDXMoogle) grabbed some subway and joined us as well :) I dances around to some of the songs he had on his stereo as I've been learning the dances to some (such as Renai Circulation) and just kinda... chilled. It was nice :) It started to get a bit chilly though so we wandered off to find people. Finally came across Ryan (the guy I was supposed to meet earlier) and THIS TIME he realized who I was lol!! I also finally met Marika :D we sat around and chilled and had more bro-out times. But seeing as it was nearing 4 am we all decided it was time for bed. Funny enough Ryan and I were on the same floor XD I quickly conked out after hitting the pillow.

Next morning I worked on Ranka a bit but wasn't really hard pressed to finish her as I knew I wasn't going to wear her.So I packed my shit up and wore my Ranka wig with some cute clothes I own that still look like Ranka's style... kinda. Took my stuff to Jerry's van and hung around more. Said farewells to Tom and other people I ran into. I giggled that some local lolita girls I was in the NewCon fashion show with didn't recognize me. I guess I look that different in cosplay vs lolita vs normal clothes? I recognized them despite the different wigs and such but I dunno- maybe I'm forgettable ^^;;

A few friends and I tried to head down to the dealers hall as none of us had been there yet... but we got there to discover they closed it AN HOUR EARLY for whatever the reason >:/ WAT!? And to add to it as we were standing around and trying to trade info we had even more staffers yelling at us that we needed to mvoe out of the way because they're cleaning up. I looked around and people were pulling tape off the carpet that was down... nothing more. No moving of guard rails or tables or anything. And this same staffer kept just circling us and yelling at us over and over again; it was annoying. I get it, we need to leave, but you closed down the dealers hall an hour early? And now, despite seeing us writing things down to trade some info she keeps yelling... lady, it's not going to make me move any faster! Ugh!

I also took pictures of Alli in her Dion Roger's Rinoa and of Kayla and Mandy in their Hetalia cosplays. I just kind of took a bunch of random pictures as I had just gotten a new camera and was learning how to use it. Lets just say I took a lot of butt pictures- but they were consensual lol

And then I headed home. Jerry stayed over and slept and I crashed out like a mofo as I had to head to work the next day.

Jared always finds me to take a picture! :D

Long con full of friends. I'm glad all I had to pay for was my room.

JULY update

I really need some sort of magical device that can read my inner dialog. By the time I can actually update here I forgot all the good stuff I had going.

So life. And stuff.
July has not be kind to me. Though nothing TOO big really has happened  (or nothing I'd say is "big") there's still been a lot going on; a lot of negative things at that.

Ended up in the ER about a month back (ok, that's not July... I get it. ) doctors couldn't find what was wrong and causing my pain so they just discharged me. What gets me is how much I had to pay for the visit despite no real help being rendered. If anything they just caused me more issues as they put an IV in "just in case" and it made me feel absolutely nauseous and dizzy. It wasn't even the needle bit; It's the plastic piece they use after they pull the needle out. I -quickly- started feeling woozy from it... obviously my body was not happy at all.
They had me get an x-ray done on my chest as it was something that was hurting as well. I had to "hug" part of the machine and when I was being gentle to not bend my arm the lady came over and pushed on it because my arm apparently want wrapped around the machine enough? I'm pretty sure I had internal bruising or something because it hurt afterwards for more than a week :\

$670 to have someone hurt my arm. Fabulous. That's more than my rent for my entire apartment for a month.

Other fun news?  Not too much I really think I should be typing here >_>;; errrr yeah... Life changes that I really had no control over. But not every "bad" event necessarily causes a negative change in ones life hmm.

The ER bit is still really ticking me off lol.

I need to just go to a general doctor and get everything checked out. The ER bill took pretty much all I was currently saving up to quit my job though. I know that wasn't a lot really but given how much I get paid that took me a bit. I haven't really bought myself anything I've "wanted" considering I want to quit my job more than anything. Especially more than anything I could buy.

I suppose that does bring up Dream Sky lol. That was separate savings I had started the instant I heard about the re-release *shrug* Don't judge me.... ^.^;;

Bullying in Cosplay Land: A lot of questions (Part 1/?)

Bullying seems to be an every day occurrence for many people- especially those that in a general society would be labeled as "different". Bullying can happen for every and any reason- from petty things to not wearing a certain brand of shoes to things you can't control such as skin or eye color.

We've all dealt with bullying to some degree in our lives. Among siblings it happens and even as young children, who sometimes don't know better, we would tease someone else. Maybe because we didn't like them, sometimes sadly, because we did. Regardless bullying creates nothing but victims- those of those who are the bullies are victims in their own right of some reason or another to start such a things. And of course those that are on the receiving end of it.

So why is it that in a hobby that's seen as being so "different" to society bullying, shit talking, and general cattiness is so rampant? Some people want to say it's because of the large volume of women in the hobby that causes it to be this way. But surely not all girls constantly trash talk those that are not within' their friend circle (or, dare I say, even ones that act like being friends with?)

Why is this such a problem? People walking around at cons making snide remarks at others dressed as the same character as themselves instead of starting a conversation because you have something in common with each other. Rumors spread, comments are said, tempers flare about anything and everything. From non-realistic notions of "they stole MY character!" to shallow comments of "ugh they're too fat/skinny/ugly/pretty to cosplay that character!" or some monster hybrid of the two. Why do we beat each other down so senselessly when in reality the community of cosplay and conventions hobbies could potentially be so strong if we all could just get along.

Now mind you I don't expect everyone to become friends- I KNOW that such a wish is as real as an air guitar. We don't all have to be friends, maybe we all don't have to get along either, but to be passive about it and just say "I don't like so-and-so." is a lot more healthy for ourselves and our community over the general "X is such a bitch. I hate X!"

To that I ask... why?

Why do you -hate- that person? What have they done that has made you so angry? What have they done to slight you so badly? What have they done that has harmed you in any way?

And at the end of the day is it really so important that you must manifest HATRED, of all feelings, towards them? Was it something so bad that you wholly dislike someone? Even if it was for something that could have been a simple disagreement on how something is made? A fabric choice? A wig color choice? Or maybe they said or did something you didn't like. Is that really merit for HATRED towards someone?

Because in the end that hatred, that anger, that disdain causes people to talk badly about others. To vent their frustrations in emotionally charged verbal exchange with others. And when such things are posted on the internet it will always get back to that person you're talking about. No one likes to be bullied. No one likes to be talked badly about. And if you really put yourself in their place would you talk so badly about them? Would you make the comments about them knowing that your hatred breeds an ugly personality that simply drives people away from you. It a terrible cycle... to be bullied and then bully others in return. No one else can make the decision for you to NOT talk ill of others- you have to do it yourself. Or is having someone as your verbal punching bag really that fun?

And is it really worth it?

New phone!!

I finally got a new phone. This is really weird. I have a smartphone now. My first phone was the Motorola RAZR in magenta (of course~~) and then I switched to the LG Dlite (aka in Korea as the "Lollipop"). But now I finally caved and got myself a smart phone- a VERY smart one at that: the Samsung Galaxy S III!!

I can't say I'm used to it yet though. It feels more like I got a tiny, fancy tablet. I look ridiculous trying to take a picture with it and have a hard time not covering the camera with my finger somehow ~_~;;

And yet I totally love it!! I can do so much! I can quickly reply to people on Twitter or Facebook and also manage my cosplay page from it. I also downloaded Lineplay >_>;; which is pretty much EXACTLY like the "Ameba Pico" game that used to be on Facebook that I played and NO ONE PLAYED WITH ME WHAT THE HELL lol. I also signed up her Hipstergram (Instagram) and downloaded Snapchat and Vine (though I haven't played with it yet.) It allows me to upload videos directly from my phone to Youtube and, honestly, it takes better video than my point and shoot camera!! I've already thought about doing all my vlogs with it though I'm not sure yet how I'd put it on my tripod or if it will record audio any good ^^;;

Regardless I'm happy with the upgrade. I don't usually switch until I find a phone I really love as my electronics are a huge commitment to me. I will have this phone for at least 2-4 years now and I plan to make it work. I know new fancy things will come out even within the next few months but this phone is such an upgrade it's already really damn amazing to me!!

I have yet to learn all the fun little gizmos though and I've already had it for nearly 2 weeks. Oh! I also downloaded the Blogger app :x it's not as nice, nor as easy, as typing things out on my computer but it does give me the opportunity to write things while I'm on the go. Maybe now I can update more? I can be riding the bus somewhere for a long trip and type up and entry and be more productive with my blog :3 The idea is rather exciting to me!!

Now if only my life were interesting enough to always update *laugh*

Book Idea?

I always say this. I need to blog more. I need to vlog more. I need to update more. Why does it feel like time goes by so very fast?

I don't even remember what all could be considered "new" at this point compared to last when I typed up random ramblings. Not much happens these days though- at least not anything positive that is worth posting about. There certainly a lot of negative things going on though ~_~;; but who really wants to read me whining about something? NOOOO ONNNEEEE... probably. Who knows. Voyeurism into another person's problems does do wonders to make one feel better about their own life issues after all.

I've had this idea for a book in my head for a few years now. And when I say a few years I literally mean 4. I keep thinking "this is stupid" but I like the idea a lot. In fact now that I think of it I've had 2 main plots jumbling around in my brain- though they don't go together. They were ideas Brandon and I brain stormed together before he moved to Japan (BTW he graduated just this month! Congrats bro! :D). Him and I were shooting things back and forth and talking about good plot twists and such and we came across these ideas. My mind only slightly elaborates on them so it's still a very basic idea. Last I remember he gave me permission to use them if I ever wrote them as I know I'm the better one when it comes to writing. However if I were to do so he'd totally get tons of credit for it!

Seriously though... I love writing. I like expressing things and telling stories through words. But I feel like my imagination is super rusty. And I worry, a lot, about the idea of actually trying to write a book. I know it takes time, sometimes years and YEARS, to write, edit, publish, etc and I haven't the slightest clue how to go about it all. Do I just start throwin' words down on paper and hope things make sense? Though I'd probably plot things out like characters and such first. Auuughhh!! I don't even know if that's what I'd want to do or if it'd be worth it. Or if it'd even be any GOOD. I just feel the need to create so much lately... *sigh*

I don't know how much longer I'll mull this over or if I'll ever write this idea into something tangible. It'd be nice to but I'm not so sure I believe in myself enough :<

Dream Sky Stake Out: PART 2/2

I got it!! I can't believe it I actually got the items I wanted! ! But before this, let me tell you, there is a funny story about my purchase.

I had woke up about three hours before the shop I'm japan was to open. Having some time to kill I decided to watch more Merlin (my current TV show addiction.) All the while I was still refreshing the page and watching the world clock I had set to Japan time on my phone. I believe I got at least four our five episodes out before the dresses went up on the site. At that time I had refreshed the site one more time and got up to check my phone. According to the clock there was still enough time for one more episode before the store in Japan was supposed to open. However after checking my phone I went back to my computer and upon seeing the screen I started flipping out! THE DRESSES WERE OUT AND I WAS AWAY FROM MY COMPUTER!! CRAP!! I went to sit down and nearly fell out of my chair!! However I was able to catch myself and quickly got to refreshing the other pages I planned to buy things from; while they were loading I went to work adding the jsk I wanted to my cart. The accessories I was a wee bit worried about though as I was going for wrist cuffs and I expected them to sell out quickly. I added: a blue jsk, blue wrist cuffs, navy wrist cuffs, and a navy skirt to my cart. I was only trying for the skirt to see if I could get it however it sold out before checkout- as well as the navy wrist cuffs. But the blue pieces were still there! I was able to pay and then sat anxiously for the confirmation email before I started to celebrate. I knew cancellations after payments happened and, again, I was worried about the wrist cuffs being pulled. But everything cleared and all was well!! *PARTY!!*

Peter had already managed to snag me one of the hair barrettes while pages were being prepared Friday. So although I have to pay extra shipping for that alone to know I got what all I really wanted is OK. Much better than paying scalper prices.

Although, speaking of, I do hope to possibly snag a scrunchy from the US release tomorrow as the more I keep seeing them the cuter I think they are. I might try for a skirt but all the other pieces are going to be grossly over priced ;/ I'm not sure if I like any of the jewelry though as its all plasticy stuff for such a high price... however I have a few hours to decide to what to go for if anything else.

I'm pretty darn excited I was able to do this though. I was seriously worried the site would crap out on me :<

Now I get to sit and wait patiently for my order to be shipped... I'm pretty sure they got at least 100 orders within that 5-10 min window where things were up... crazy.

Dream Sky Stake Out: PART 1/2

Dream sky was supposed to be released today via the international site. Pretty much all the items on the Japanese site are sold out already and oooh they look so lovey!! The international site is wigging out big time though... I suppose that's pretty normal when largely anticipated items are slated to drop.

I stalked the site all night via my phone and had a couple friends watching the site as well in case things went up while I was at work. I'm so grateful they did this T-T and yet I feel bad since there was no action *laugh* However Peter WAS successful in snagging me one of the hair barrettes I wanted!! Even though they were only prepping the pages he tried to pay for it because "why not" and it let him through!! At first I was kind of upset because now I'll have to pay shipping for just that one items and even more shipping for whatever items I may manage to get. However as I thought of it more I knew that trying to find the thing second hand or from girls that decided it wasn't what they wanted would have resulted in an inflated price anyway ~_~;;

So whateves!!

I'm going after the JSK in blue. Navy seems to be the most popular color among most girls- I do agree it looks stunning! But something about it bothers me at the same time. The stars and their tails are very strange colors. They're all minty, blue and purple. There seems to not be a single drop of pink on the dress so it tends to have a much more "cool" tone/look to it. It somewhat bothers me as the design still has a pink star button on the strap!! Why would they do this?! Also I'm pretty sure I don't like this go around of the... lilac color (it really doesn't look lavender to me at all.) The lilac colorway has the same star coloring as the navy color. Whereas the sax blue and regular blue have pinks and yellows. Very interesting changes!!

I still would kill for the navy from the first release. The color falls between the re-release's blue and navy colors and I really do love it! But it's -thee- most coveted dress from that series. I had a girl offer to sell me hers for $600... yeah no. That's more than I paid for my brand new STILL-WITH-TAGS Sugary Carnival set. I love the dress a lot but not $600 a lot.

But. BUT. Another girl offered me her lavender one for a much nicer price; I'm pretty sure I'll take it because it's pretty freaking adorable :x


Anyway it seems as though AP is not going to release the dresses just yet. CGL says it'll be Monday Japan time so I'll at least have a day off before I'm back to stalking around on the compie. Good luck to anyone else whom hopes to get in on this release!! I have a feeling it's going to sell crazy fast!!

Second release sax blue vs first release 

Second release blue, first release navy, second release navy

second release "lavender" vs first release lavender

Dream Sky re-release

It's happening. They're re-releasing dream sky. This is legit happening!! :'D I wonder what changes will overall be made (if any.) I see that there is no pink colorway this time and black seems to be left out. All blue toned colors this go-around! Sax, royal blue, navy, and an interesting looking purple/lavender that I hope is an odd printing in the scan I saw because wow it looks kind of ugly... Dare I attempt to even try to get it? Dare I...? Yeah I'M GUNNA TRY!! (good luck to me~~) *DREAM BIG*

BAD costumes!

Late night vloggin~

Non-print lolita doesn't get enough love! (Chelsea Regimental)

It's very common for certain prints from lolita brands to get hyped up to the point of an instant sell out, and in some rare cases re-releases. For example Sugary Carnival, Chess Chocolate, and Day Dream Carnival have all resulted in such events!

However non print dresses don't seem to get the attention they do deserve! So many of the "plain" dresses Angelic Pretty releases between it's big prints are so lovely! But you almost never hear months-in-advance announcements; or people freaking out about them to the point of staying up all night to make sure they get a sliver of a chance to buy it.

However, just the same, they do seem to fly "off the shelves" (so to speak) when they do come up. So why don't brands give their non print dresses as much love and attention as prints? Maybe they know they'll sell well already? *laugh*

I recently was able to score Chelsea Regimental off of Mbok for a REALLY good price. This is one dress that I was actively seeking out but never thought someone would sell for a various reason (timeless, versatile, etc). All the pictures I saw of it made it look so lovely... but in person? OH MY GLOB. This dress is BEAUTIFUL!!

The detailing is immense on this! Though it's a simple stripe woven fabric the choice of colors work very well together- a mix of chocolate brown, milktea, and light blue stripes bring a little extra accent to the pallet. The gold stripes woven in add a pretty, although subtle shimmer unless in certain light- then they really show well! The fabric itself is extremely soft- which somewhat surprises me due to the mylar woven in as it's generally something that can become itchy. However when I was feeling the fabric the gold is fine enough that it does not irritate my skin in the least bit :)

The construction of the dress is superb as well. The bodice has a mock vest piece in the middle that hides the skirt seam though being fully sewn in itself- I will admit that sewing such a thing is rather tricky unless you're used to holding fabric bits back while sewing (I usually end up smashing my finger in the machine when I do this lol.) The back of the collar has a button so it's a bit easier to get on and off. The cross straps in the back are removable and can also be flipped over; one side has the milktea colored stripes while the other has blue ones. A small detail which can help balance an outfit. I prefer to leave them attatched though as I like the extra detailing they have to offer.

The back lacing is done with actual eyelets instead of lace, ribbon, or elastics. I like how this makes it feel almost classic in its attempt although the dress may still be classified as "sweet". The ribbon is very high quality as well and has no damage to it. I honestly wonder if the girl I bought this from ever wore it!

The extra lace detailing going down the skirt is one of my favorite touches as well. It's a small detail that's easy to lose in the pattern but adds a nice surprise when you find it.

This dress is, again, seriously very lovely. If I had a chance to buy it in another colorway I most certainly would. Everything about this is lovely and I really did feel amazing wearing it! It has the charm and magic of lolita that I love!

And of course the cat was curious!
"This thing you're wearing smells strange!"

Cat vs Apple

My roommate's cat is a unique character in and of her own XD

[Cosplay Progress] End of Triangle Ranka

With Sakura Con very swiftly approaching I've just FINALLY gotten my poop in a group and started working on one of my cosplay outfits I'll be wearing that still needed to be made! I'm bringing magical girl Mami (from Madoka Magica) and Stocking's default lolita dress (Panty and Stocking) but... TO JUST NOW START ON A COSPLAY.

I'm crazy. I know.

Fabrics
[Facebook Link]

I really honestly pity Liz more though as her Sheryl outfit is hell compared to Ranka's; We're making the "End of Triangle" outfits from the 3rd Macross Frontier movie.

So far I've gotten a good start on things. I spent a good deal of time already on the top and have all the layers stitched together. I'm trying to work on the navy colored parts first so I can efficiently sew things without having to switch out thread/bobbins too often. Also the navy bits are, in large part, the bases for everything else; maybe I'm just lazy but to me this is the best way to go about things.

[Facebook link]

I bought gloves a long LONG time ago for a Steel Angel Kurumi cosplay that was nearly the perfect color- they're still a bit too blue compared to the fabric I chose. I was thinking about trying to dye them down a bit with black though to dull out the blue. I'll have to get the dye though. The gloves just need a yellow cuff added and they'll be done other wise. Ranka has these weird gloves that end part way up her thumb (about an inch from the wrist) but I didn't cut them down all the way yet so I had plenty of fabric to stitch the cuff to.

The bracelet was found on etsy! It's from the 80's. I searched EVERY STORE in Lloyd center and every Target, Fred Meyer, and well... honestly any store I went in to that had a jewelry section I searched and searched for a PLAIN translucent bangle like this. Despite this green being a color that is in style this season I could not find anything remotely close!
Not even just a green bangle that didn't have some sort of crazy design all on it. This really was a seriously wonderful find. Thank you internet!!

I wear the weirdest things
when I sew LOL
[Facebook Link]

As for the corset top, at this point, I need to press the seams flat and add the boning in. Not sure if I have enough boning as it is but I'll be able to add what I do have on hand. If I end up running out I'll work on the belt piece (I drafted a pattern so far but nothing else) and will also have her arm bands to make. Well... I made the blue base for the one on her upper arm. But her wrist one still need to be made. I feel like that one will be a lot easier to make though as it won't involved curves ~_~;;

I'm waiting on some metal heart findings to come in the mail to make her necklace and ring out of. I'm also waiting on the gold studs! I had bought a bunch earlier but they ended up being too small ;-; The studs need to be as wide as my choker- these were the nicest small gold buckles I could come across that weren't the standard ugly Drtiz ones. I don't like their color of gold either! It's a very cold yellow that just looks cheap. For Ranka I'm trying to stick with a warmer gold so everything actually ends up looking to have a brass tint to them. I think it compliments the navy blue a lot better than a harsh, bright gold. /Gold Rant (lol)

I'm crazy... still... I know this. I think once I have the corset top all done and put together everything else will somewhat fall in to place. I still need to figure out shoes because she has a lightning bolt on the heel... I'm not really sure I'll be able to find such shoes in time. I'm also debating on finding a pair and molding my own heel shape onto it. I have such a problem with high heels being comfortable that I rue ever having to order them online :( Really hate having to... UGH.

This should not have taken as long
as it did ~_~;;
[Facebook Link]

I think the part I'm most excited for on this costume is the giant butt cape I get :3 I'll probably go pick up MORE fabric for that honestly- I want it to be huge and anime-like! It'll flow as I waaalllkkk and I'll probably never stop messing with it LOL. I'm glad this costume will have a "fun" part on it like this... seriously. Sometimes wearing a costume is just so uncomfortable that it's nice to have something you can be silly with :)

*SCREAMS*

I HAVE ONLY 15 DAYS UNTIL I LEAVE!!

Chess Choco-WAT!!!

I did it! I won!! I won the Chess Chocolate Jabost JSK in mint finally! :'D

I had been stalking auctions for a good while despite Brandon having contacted Closet Child about the dresses (They hadn't called him back yet to tell him they had stock or not.) So when the auction popped up I decided to bid on it :x the price started rather low for this color/style (¥10,000) and it didn't raise up very far at all!! I think over all I spent around ¥20,500 on it! Which I consider a STEAL since it was A) Cheaper than the initial release price & B) Cheaper than I'll ever find it from a second hand selling in the states! They'll usually charge around $350 (¥33,000) for it >_<

Sooooo I'm excited!! Though I went a bit crazy with the orders. I was also able to get Royal Queen mint OTKs for only ¥1,000 and the ivory skirt for around ¥9300...

I also found a bunch of Sailor Moon musical VHS tapes for supa cheap >_>;; so to grow my tiny collection (of mostly Miyuki) I bought them~! All first stage! :D There were 8 in all.

I also noticed the person who dicked me out of the mint head bow has been trying to sell it WITH their bustier dress. Would it be crazy/stupid of me to buy it? LOL... I'm not a huge fan of the bustier dress honestly but it WAS the one I first initially liked when I saw the collection. Who knows? Maybe I'll like it. If not I'll sell it off. I'll wait until I get paid this Friday though before I even bid. If it's still up *shrug* I'll probably go for it ^^;;

*spazzes*

One down, two to go! (Dream Sky & Sugary special~)

"Who knows how to make love stay?"

Tom Robbins quotes always come to mind when I think about "love". Particularly ones from his book Still Life With Woodpecker He's honestly a fantastic writer and I should pick up more of his books as well and reread the ones I have already read. I suggest you check out this author! He's great!

“Who knows how to make love stay?
1. Tell love you are going to Junior's Deli on Flatbush Avenue in Brooklyn to pick up a cheesecake, and if loves stays, it can have half. It will stay.
2. Tell love you want a momento of it and obtain a lock of its hair. Burn the hair in a dime-store incense burner with yin/yang symbols on three sides. Face southwest. Talk fast over the burning hair in a convincingly exotic language. Remove the ashes of the burnt hair and use them to paint a moustache on your face. Find love. Tell it you are someone new. It will stay.
3. Wake love up in the middle of the night. Tell it the world is on fire. Dash to the bedroom window and pee out of it. Casually return to bed and assure love that everything is going to be all right. Fall asleep. Love will be there in the morning.”

 ~Tom Robbins      

But how DOES one make love stay? One first has to ask how you define "love"- as this is something not all people view the same. Some people see love as self-sacrificing; where you give up everything that is "you" to either support the "we" aspect or the other person. Other's see it as a financial support and end up throwing gifts or money at their loved ones. Sometimes love gets twisted and strange but honestly so many people express love so differently that you can't really know how someone will love you unless you receive love from that person.

Personally I find myself giving the type of "nurturing" or parental love. I want to take care of the people whom are dear to me- making them food, helping them with things, etc. Just generally taking care of them and helping their lives become a little easier if possible. A little bit more comfortable.

But this also to me is a flawed love. As it's a love most people receive from their own mothers. So it's been taken advantage of a lot by people before. Yes I do this with friends, and no I don't expect things in return for it (aside from maybe a "thank you" or two.) But, generally speaking, people seem so used to this type of "love" that more often than not it's taken for granted. Demanding a more showy type of love from me will not net you that as that's not how I express it. I do buy gifts for people; usually in a sense of "OMG this reminded me of you!" But it will end up being something like a silly Star Wars trinket for someone or something Pokemon. I bought a mini plush set of Animal Crossing before for a friend since it wasn't a whole lot and I know she wanted a KK plush really bad (he was included.) I expected nothing in return because her shrieks of delight were enough to make my day.

But you want me to do WHAT now? You want me to dress how? You want me to change THAT about myself? Demands demands demands. People never seem happy with what they have- even if it's the best thing they've ever had.

How do you make love stay?

But what kind of love is it that you want?

MOAR ANGER- and a Remedy For It~!

This week as not been my week. This week has not been acting in my favor one bit. But it also seems as though I'm not the only one having such problems (Anger filled Monday, Super sleepy Tuesday, Bad news Wednesday, etc etc.) But what happened to me yesterday afternoon almost took the cake on the rage-o-meter scale.

I got boned out of my ultimate dream dress- part 2!

I was informed that someone on the comm sales had posted -the- dress for sale. The price wasn't too bad either! Someone had previously commented about PM-ing the seller but I figured I'd give it a shot as well. I messaged them and informed them I'd be able to pay in full and to let me know if that would work out. I had the money... I would be nearly penniless until next Friday but sometimes I feel it can be worth it (stupidly lol.)

But I woke up after my weird noon-time sleep to a message from the seller that the dress was already on payment plan and she apologized.

So wait... someone doing a payment plan got precedence over the person willing to pay in full that day? I was honestly confused and, honestly, by now it really just felt like salt being rubbed into my wounds (especially after losing out on said dress once before.)

I went to work mad and stewed about it for nearly my whole shift. My boyfriend had even asked me "Would you give up the black version for this one?" and I simply said yes to him. No questions. I think at that point he understood why it had miffed me so much.

However towards the end of my shift I was just kinda of mopey and figured being angry did no good. I talked a good deal with some friends and listened to music to forget about it for some time. I mean come on! It's just a dress right? But it's also a hobby. Like Pokemon! Except I don't want to "catch 'em all"; I want to build a small, strong team of AWESOME.

 Now the remedy happened a few hours after I got home. All is quiet- after all it's the butt crack of night time (4am). And I decided to see what my awesome buddy Brandon was up to in Japan-land so I called him up on Skype.
Turns out he had called Closet Child over the weekend about Dream Sky and Chess Chocolate and they're shipping some dresses in from their other stores for him to take a look at! :D This seriously perked me up SO FAST. At this point I was OK not getting the Special Sugary dress- upset a bit still but I will obtain it eventually *determination!!*!
I sent him an e-mail with the pictures of the exact colors and styles I was looking for. He'll go in probably sometime Monday or Tuesday of next week to check them out, talk stock, pricing, and check the dresses for damages and stains (to further talk price about). He said he'd take pictures but I told him that Closet Child actually doesn't allow it. I suggested he bring his girlfriend along as she is also into lolita and will be able to asses the dresses as well- plus it might not be so weird for him to be in a store full of frills LOL.
He commented that he had no problem with going there as I have dragged him to the fabric store many times- which however also works in his favor as he'll be able to better spot any problems with the dresses. I further told him it's OK if they do have slight damages or stains as I don't really care much and can fix most construction problems with the dresses themselves.

So it perked my day up really well :) I'm feeling a lot better about the events of the day as it probably all happened for a very good reason. Had I bought Sugary my bank account would be near nil until Friday and thus I'd be unable to send him the money for the dresses/shipping. But now I'm good~
I still need to do my taxes too! :3 more monies there~


In other news it looks like an 80% chance I'll have to work Saturday. I plan to go in early if I wake up in time so I can milk the over time without having to stay super super late @_@;; I'm -trying- to be happy about that one. But there are 2 meet ups happening this weekend (one each day) and it may cause me to miss both. Again. *sigh*

Just keep swimming~

iMAD

So Mad  D: ugh!
I was browsing around on Mbok the other, which has become a daily thing I do to try and find certain dresses, and I saw a mint Chess Chocolate head bow (aka "Alice band") going for only 2000 yen! With the conversion as it is now It was just under $24usd... "what a steal" I though. I saw an ivory one sell for nearly $80usd on the Livejournal comm sales so I was excited!

I contacted Japonica and did the whole, order request, money request, send money, etc thing you do with a shopping service; and then I waited. I waited to see when they bid and did a happy dance! I then waited as the auction closed as well with my winning bid~ woo!
So excited!! :D I went to bed very very happy~ one step closer to getting the set!

But I woke up the next morning to an email from Japonica... it said the seller canceled the auction.

but...

but... I..

bu...

BUT I WON IT.

I'm so peeved. Seriously!! Mbok is just making me more and more angry >:/ This is the 2nd time I've had someone cancel an auction AFTER it ended on me. The previous time I wasn't so mad but now? With the head bow... :( The seller still has their dress up and now they have updated the pictures to include the head bow as well! I'd buy it however it's the bustier-style dress and I don't really care for it (and it seems to be the only version anyone is presently selling.)

Blaaaaahhh!!

It's getting really difficult...

Work is killing me. This is in the sens of, well, everything: Emotionally, physically, mentally, socially, etc. It has become a soul sucking black hole in my life. I know many people say "I hate my job" or that "work sucks" but I literally and very truthfully hate my job.

There are days that I don't even want to pull myself out of bed or get dressed to go to work. And I can honestly say I rather paint a picture with my own blood then ever step foot in that building ever again; I would eat rocks if it I meant I didn't have to work there! It's bad. I've tolerated so much bullshit for the 7 years I've been there and I have next to nothing to show for it other than the insurance and a paycheck. I would say steady paycheck but that would be a lie- I don't even get that. There are months on end where we "have to cut hours" to save the company money in production costs (but we then get yelled out for not pushing out enough product). So working for 7 hours a day, ever day, for nearly a month really puts a damper on my ability to, ya know... SURVIVE. I eat less, I sleep more, I see daylight and my friends a lot less & I end up feeling really depressed and unmotivated to do anything. Even clean my own apartment or to even harass the cat.

I'm currently working on a huge entry for all the extremely stress inducing bullshit that happened to me this last Friday via my boss. The entry is going to be long and probably either boring or juicy to read. But for now I won't focus on that. Just know that I was 8 seconds away from throwing my life into chaos by telling my boss that I quit. Had I had to talk to him for that much longer I would be jobless.

But lets focus on the more positive things I'm trying to do insofar as my job goes.

I'm going to quit.
Honest to goodness, this year, I am going to quit my job and move onto something else. I've decided to focus on becoming a flight attendant. I have been reading up on it a LOT and even though it's a customer service job (hello social anxiety) I believe I would be able to do well at this job. I'm going to honest to goodness give it a shot and I hope to totally fall in love with it :)

And before I get told that I'm making a rash decision this is honestly a profession that has been on my mind for over a year or more now- in fact so long I can't even remember when I first thought of taking it on.

The prep stuff I have to do though while at my current job is getting all sorts of lovely medical check ups. I want to get my eyes checked and get glasses if need be and get my teeth/dental work all done up. I want to have a pretty picturesque smile so I don't feel embarrassed to do so in front of people.

Now as I take on this job though I plan to move closer to Portland International Airport. I'm honestly not far from it (20 min or so drive- but I don't have a car) but It'd be nice being closer to work and it would also help my future room mate as it is closer to her school. However, if I can't find a decently priced apartment or even house to rent then I am OK with staying where I am currently as I do really like it here a good deal.

These are my goals. These are my wants, and honestly, NEEDS to do to improve my working life. And despite having an erratic schedule as a flight attendant I would still have more time to see friends and to actually do things. With my current job I work 5 days a week, every week, on a horrid swing+graveyard schedule combo of hell. It's next to impossible to get time off and I'm only ever allowed to call in sick 3 times a year. And as it stands now with how much Oregon's minimum wag went up I am not far above it. I have worked at this place for nearing a decade and I get paid under $13 an hour. SEVEN. YEARS. And that's all I have to show for it *sigh*

I can't do this any more. It's been long overdue that change has to happen. And this year is when I will make the change.

FUCK THIS JOB!

Marshmellow [sic] Bunny

 I was never crazy about this dress. It was always just kind of cute to me, but at the same time really rather ugly; it reminded me terribly of Easter in wall the wrong ways. Bunnies and pastels: two things that practically MAKE sweet lolita what it is. However the over all motif just seemed so ugly and weird; and I can't quiet put my finger on just WHY. Maybe it falls under "busu kawaii" for me? Where something is so ugly it becomes cute... lol.

 Really though the only color I was not a fan of was the pink- which often happens. My favorite is black with blue and ivory coming in second. The ivory looks too yellow though against the white bunnies. But I suppose making it white would make the bunnies pretty much just creepy floating eyes/boys/noses... thought maybe that'd be kinda of neat in their own way.

 Some weird power possessed me to buy this dress. I don't know if I'll regret it later or not (and boy do I hope I don't) but I ended up getting the ivory. Black and blue were sold out and like hell I'd buy pink lol. I think black might end up being the ONLY colorway of this dress I end up liking in the end...

BUT IT'S SO UGLY!!

Seriously why the frak did I buy this thing?! I already regret it and AP already sent it out... ugh ~_~;; Maybe I can sell it? I'll steal the pattern off it first though lol

Small Taobao Order: Star themed!

I made a rather small order using Bhiner to test them out. I plan to do full reviews of each item but for now here is a list of the things I got en route :)

- Loris shooting star bag in light yellow:
[shop link] [review]

- Loris star handbags (purple and pink):
[shop link] [review]

- Blonde+pink lolita wig (for Sheryl Nome cosplay!):
[shop link] [review]

- Sentimental Circus pass cases (bunny and elephant):
[shop link] [review]

The galaxy school uniform had to be ordered in 4 separate pieces (two tops and two bottoms.) At the time I got these they were immensely popular so I got a few different sized things. I always ordered up a size when I had the chance though!

School Uniform top (blue size & purple size XL):
[shop link] [review]

School uniform skirt (blue size M, purple size XL):
[shop link] [review]

[Taobao] Trying a new shopping service

So this new shopping service I'm using is called Bhiner. I chose to try them out as they only charge a 5% fee and I've heard a few people talk good about them. I usually used Taobaospree but decided to give a different service a try this time around (TBS also charges a 10% fee).

I've come to find a few good and bad points about Bhiner:

• BAD: I -have- to choose my shipping method before they start buying my items. The bad side to this is that I don't fully know just HOW much my order is going to weigh! My shipping option I choose could end up being vastly more expensive than planned/hoped! Also they say they will charge you a small fee if you decide to use a different shipping method after you make your order.
• BAD: They don't offer SAL as a shipping method. Also the cheapest method's price is raising on FEB 22nd (2013). The method that will then become cheapest takes 15-30 days to arrive as opposed to the current time of 7-14 days. Lame.
• BAD: There's a 4% fee to move money from your Paypal into your "Bhiner account". The whole idea of have a separate account weirds me out as well. However the other Paypal option is to send them money as a personal gift and Paypal charges MORE for that than the 4% (at least it did with my order.) I also don't feel very secure sending them money as a gift.
• GOOD: Items arrived SUPER quick! I paid for them on Thursday (China's Friday) and everything was with Bhiner by Tuesday. I ordered roughly 10 things though they were only from maybe 3 or 4 shops.
• GOOD: The cheap fee. They also say they have a 44% discount for EMS shipping (which I intend to try the next time around if I do use them again)
• GOOD: The cart system is super easy to use and all the items will get confirmed for stock within' a days time :)
• GOOD: Bhiner automatically takes pictures of the items as they arrive and uploads them online.
• GOOD: Website has a shipping calculator that shows you the price for each method or shipping and will automatically highlight the cheapest method. Very helpful!

Overall it seems to be a decent service to use. I've been thinking about trying another service for my next order but I will say that I have yet to find a cart system that is as stream-lined as Bhiner's is. I like how they have things set up and the shipping calculator is helpful. I suppose I will give them another shot.

Day Dream Carnival

Scans from a fashion magazine showing Angelic Pretty's two newest prints have been circulating on the internet for a short time now- and even better pictures have finally been released. I'm not sure if AP has announced anything about it but I do know a good deal of girls whom are ALREADY contacting shopping services to procure one of the dresses for them! All they are going off of are some magazine scans!... but really I can see the hype with the print.

It's being referred to as a more "mature" or "grown up" version of Sugary Carnival- which I can see. But at the same time all I am seeing in this dress is the similarity with Bodyline's [fairly popular] carousel dress. Now I'm not saying that Angelic Pretty is copying Bodyline at all- not by a long shot. But the two prints are very similar in a lot of ways: the framing around the carousel, vertical multi-tone stripes, stars on the stripes, and even somewhat the ponies themselves (from what I am able to see.) This isn't intended to be a "who did it better" sort of comparison but you can't deny how similar they are in the raw basic aspects of it.

I will say thought that overall construction wise I KNOW AP's will be done a lot better. The cuts and seams are always done well whereas Bodyline is put together in a much more mass-produced way (side panels not cut so much on the bias to be able to use more fabric, same cut/pattern used for many dresses, not lined, etc etc.) I know AP's will definitiely look more lovely worn but it's really hard for me to NOT see the similarities. I suppose I shall wait until AP updates their online shop before I judge so much though ;x

A lot just seems so over the top and costume-y about this dress that it's really hard for me to like it. I almost get the feeling like it's just much too busy overall- too many elements going on. And I'm not a fan of the colors- in fact the white is the only one I like so far.

Personally I think Gloria was a lot prettier than this dress. And I wasn't a huge fan of Gloria because of the giant gold cross printed directly onto the front of the skirt (also the fat baby angels) but the constructive design of the Gloria dresses looked so lovely and regal. Whereas Day Dream just looks like a little girl's princess dress.

It's pretty but it's not for me at all. One more dress for other girls! Haha
I'll stick to working on acquiring Chess Chocolate :3



BTW scans are NOT MINE. I found them on 4chan... >_>;;

New Taobao Shopping Service

I'm finally ordering some super cute lolita bags off of Taobao and decided to try a new shopping service this time around. I haven't even MADE the order but so far I'm finding this service to be frustrating >:/

The shopping cart style is great but what is putting me off so quickly about it is the fact that I have to choose my final shipping service already when I haven't even paid for the items. I feel like this could have been done a bit better. Why not make it a 2-step format where I choose later? They'll already have to notify me when I need to pay the shipping and that's essentially a 2-step process already... so why not just lump the "choose shipping option" there? That way I know the actual weight, and therefore shipping cost, of said items?

I did end up deciding against some shoes I wanted though. Just adding the 2 pairs in raised the price of my order by nearly $100!! I've been eyeing these shoes for over a year now and ,while I'm surprised they haven't sold out yet, I'm still really paranoid about spending so much on some shoes that I don't know if I'll like the look of on my actual feet.

I hate buying shoes online! But I love shoes and there are so many cute shoes online!

One giant conundrum my friends >:(  lol

"Friendship" or "Friendshit"?

This... incident, has been a long time coming I suppose. I knew something of this sort would happen. Am I sad? a bit. Upset? Maybe. But I knew it'd come to this sooner or later.

I'm talking about a point/event in which someone just totally blows up at you and then blocks you or unfriends you all over the internet. I'm somewhat insulted just because some very clearly mean, and just plain vicious, things were said about me and others I know (boyfriend included).
But in reality I'm not really phased by it. I feel like I should be. Like I'm supposed to feel bad and be weepy and such but the person in question is just so unstable and, honestly, crazy that I saw this coming so very long ago.

Should I even try to reconcile with her? I'm not about to say sorry to her for things I've never said/done to her. There is no reason for me to apologize to her other than to say "I'm sorry you feel that way" or maybe "I'm sorry you think that"... but am I sorry for something I did to her? If anything I just shut down and ignored her because she would fly off the handle. I don't have time to deal with people freaking out on me for things. She said some awfully cruel things to me in her last few text message outbursts; and when I would try to have a conversation with her it just seemed like s volleying of excuses or reasons.

You live a 2 HOUR DRIVE away from me. I work 5 days a week on a very [shitty] set schedule that prevents me from even seeing my own room mate (whom she's also talked shit about) for more than maybe an hour or 2 A DAY. I see my boyfriend once a month -if that- lately because our work schedules are insanely different. And what does she do? She's a NEET. She has all the free time in the world though not the money to do anything. I'm not going to be the source of money for her either! She's not feeding me nor is she f**king me and she's not my own child- so there is no reason I should financially support her.

*deep breath*

Whew. Sorry... getting a bit upset in the heat of the moment there.

I just am at a total loss now. I'm not going to reply anything. I'm not even going to ask for the wigs back that she has or any of the clothes either. I'm just tapping out on this one and cutting my losses.

I'm done.

Get therapy and leave me alone.

Lolita Resolutions for 2013

So I saw Pawawanpi make a post like this and I really liked the idea! A post about the direction, dreams, an aspirations for my lolita wardrobe. I have a lot of things planned in the future as for lolita but am also flying by the seat of my pants a bit ^^;;. So I think putting things into a list, or even just this post, is a good idea so I can come back and reflect, or just remind myself, of where I want to go and what I want to do with my collection

My goals for lolita in 2013:

~ Obtain at least 2 of the print pieces I really really love.
I have a few of these and while I know it seems almost showboat of me there are reasons I really love these dresses. To me it's not about popularity or anything of the such, as I know a good deal of them are indeed very "popular" by lolita standards. (Chess chocolate mint/ivory jabot jsk, Dream Sky navy/lavender jsk, etc etc) But it's more of me loving the print itself. It's like art to me. If I could just have bought fabric of it I would make all the things!

~ Fully construct at least 3 of the dresses I have doodled out designs for!
It's almost an addiction for me that, ever since I first discovered what lolita was 10 years ago, that I would doodle out designs for a "lolita" dress. Of course so many of them by today's standards would be considered "ita" to a lot of people: lace everywhere and large headdresses (lol). But that's what was popular back then. How -now- I have come up with some seriously cute ideas! Stay tuned for those though (Angelic Pretty should seriously hire me.)

~ Sew my own blouses.
Lolita blouses, in my opinion, are one of those things that are just so insanely prices that it boggles my mind. I've broken down the cost for a dress and so a, newly bought, brand dress generally has a "reasonable" price given costs, labor, materials and such. But a blouse, unless full of details, is just pretty fabric marked up due to a brand's name. And to be honest I don't often find blouses I actually like! So I plan to start sewing my own. This way I can cut and style them better for my body and not run the risk of measurement A or B not fitting right on a bought blouse.

~ Sell off unused/unwanted items
I have a lot of unworn skirts hanging in my closet that I didn't like for one reason or another- generally the waist band's elastic is too strong (curse you bodyline!) and I'm a bit too lazy to alter them. It annoys me because I like the prints a lot but I just can't see myself wearing the skirt at all. This has happened a lot and I need to become very diligent on selling off the skirts and shoes that do not fit either in measurements or style. Lee impulse buys and more LOVE buys!


I know this isn't a remarkable list. But goals are still goals no matter how small :) and I've got to start somewhere!