We've all dealt with bullying to some degree in our lives. Among siblings it happens and even as young children, who sometimes don't know better, we would tease someone else. Maybe because we didn't like them, sometimes sadly, because we did. Regardless bullying creates nothing but victims- those of those who are the bullies are victims in their own right of some reason or another to start such a things. And of course those that are on the receiving end of it.
So why is it that in a hobby that's seen as being so "different" to society bullying, shit talking, and general cattiness is so rampant? Some people want to say it's because of the large volume of women in the hobby that causes it to be this way. But surely not all girls constantly trash talk those that are not within' their friend circle (or, dare I say, even ones that act like being friends with?)
Why is this such a problem? People walking around at cons making snide remarks at others dressed as the same character as themselves instead of starting a conversation because you have something in common with each other. Rumors spread, comments are said, tempers flare about anything and everything. From non-realistic notions of "they stole MY character!" to shallow comments of "ugh they're too fat/skinny/ugly/pretty to cosplay that character!" or some monster hybrid of the two. Why do we beat each other down so senselessly when in reality the community of cosplay and conventions hobbies could potentially be so strong if we all could just get along.
Now mind you I don't expect everyone to become friends- I KNOW that such a wish is as real as an air guitar. We don't all have to be friends, maybe we all don't have to get along either, but to be passive about it and just say "I don't like so-and-so." is a lot more healthy for ourselves and our community over the general "X is such a bitch. I hate X!"
To that I ask... why?
Why do you -hate- that person? What have they done that has made you so angry? What have they done to slight you so badly? What have they done that has harmed you in any way?
And at the end of the day is it really so important that you must manifest HATRED, of all feelings, towards them? Was it something so bad that you wholly dislike someone? Even if it was for something that could have been a simple disagreement on how something is made? A fabric choice? A wig color choice? Or maybe they said or did something you didn't like. Is that really merit for HATRED towards someone?
Because in the end that hatred, that anger, that disdain causes people to talk badly about others. To vent their frustrations in emotionally charged verbal exchange with others. And when such things are posted on the internet it will always get back to that person you're talking about. No one likes to be bullied. No one likes to be talked badly about. And if you really put yourself in their place would you talk so badly about them? Would you make the comments about them knowing that your hatred breeds an ugly personality that simply drives people away from you. It a terrible cycle... to be bullied and then bully others in return. No one else can make the decision for you to NOT talk ill of others- you have to do it yourself. Or is having someone as your verbal punching bag really that fun?
And is it really worth it?